The Secret Power Behind Coaching and Negotiation That AI Can’t Hack Yet

For a long time, negotiation to me was: hold your ground, defend your position, and try to “win.”

Meanwhile, I had no idea that Coaching was neither consultancy nor therapy. I thought Coaching was like having conversations and giving the best advice I could give from my experience.

Last year, I began studying and experiencing both, and today I’ll share some insights from that journey.

My biggest surprise:

Both Negotiation and Coaching are rooted in a profound human skill. A skill I’ve seen great leaders master.

So, here we go,

Can you guess what that skill is?

Effective Listening!

Have you been in front of someone and felt that person was in another world? So, physically present and mind elsewhere? or Have you found a person asking you to repeat several times what you have just said or only replying "uh‑huh, uh‑huh…"?

Well, the first element is to listening is to be present, body and mind. It's having the self-control to avoid following your inner thoughts and if that happens, bring yourself back to the present quickly.

Then there’s the opposite: the person who cuts you off and talks so much it becomes a lecture.

That brings us to the second element:

Creating space—using silence intentionally and asking open-ended questions.

E.g., as a coach: ‘What considerations made you say that?’ and as a negotiator, "what's the most important for you?"

Then, here it is, the element most people skip or struggle with: Acknowledging with empathy,

A core part of listening is acknowledging what has been said, so, repeating what you heard and expressing it in your own words.

The best book I’ve ever read for negotiation, Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, talks about how empathy could make a substantial difference in people's position from wanting to win to genuinely collaborate; oftentimes unlocking unexpected rewards. In coaching, empathy could reduce substantially the negative experience of a stressful emotion.

And that looks like:

"I hear you, losing a friend is not easy"

No advice, No fixing, No minimizing. Just presence.

• In negotiation, Why would your counterpart listen to you if you're not listening to them?

• In coaching, Why would your client engage with you if you don't listen to them?

Listening with Empathy is one of the most underappreciated human qualities—and one of the most powerful we can choose to practice. In a fast‑moving world, every moment becomes an opportunity to bring more presence, connection, and understanding.

Next time you feel the urge to interrupt or offer advice… Pause. Listen. Acknowledge. You may create the connection someone truly needs.

I’m curious—What resonates with you the most?

Which part of listening do you want to practice more: presence, silence, or empathy?

Looking forward to reading your thoughts,

Paola,

Career and Leadership Coach - Lead with passion, enthusiasm, and humanity.

paolamartinezacevedo.com