The Feedback I Never Wanted… But changed everything
BEST SELLERS
PMA
3/9/20261 min read
What a topic, right?
Feedback is one of the most controversial topics I’ve encountered in my career. It has such a strong power to transform people and relationships — for better or for worse.
I believe that good feedback hurts a bit, sometimes even a lot. No pain, no gain.
The best feedback I ever received — though I only understood it years later — was given to me in public during a meeting:
"I don't like your presentation" ... nothing else.
And of course, it hurt.
But why do I say it was “the best”?
At that moment in my life, I asked myself:
What is feedback?
How can I learn to give constructive feedback — feedback for growth, for a better work or personal environment, for stronger human connections?
I transformed it into a learning experience instead of a resentment story. I shifted my focus toward curiosity and growth.
Over the last few years, asking for feedback has helped me develop skills, celebrate what I do well, and stay humble. However, it needs to be honest feedback, asked from people you’ve worked with, and they need to know it’s a safe space — that all feedback is for growth and that you want to grow.
And, it has worked, I've received honest feedback for improvement.
Feedback is just information. You choose the mindset and the connotation it will have in your life.
After several years of reading, studying, practicing, and making mistakes with feedback, here are some tips:
Do it privately. Ask for permission: “May I have your perspective on something?”
Have regular moments for feedback during calm times, not moments of chaos. That way, the other person is more open to listening.
Give it structure:
The fact + The impact + a way to do it differently, or the appreciated new behaviour.
Example: “Arriving late to the event tonight made me feel terrible +
How can we coordinate better to arrive on time for our commitments together?” or
“I would appreciate it if you could be ready at the time agreed.”
I’m curious:
What is one thing you could do better when it comes to giving or receiving feedback?
How has feedback shaped the way you lead?
Paola,
Career and Leadership Coach - Lead with passion, enthusiasm, and humanity.
